i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Randomize
