small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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