3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize