so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
