it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
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