i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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