I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
