At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
