So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
