Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Randomize
