The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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