I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Panties = found
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize