i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
