Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Randomize
