glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize