I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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