Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
she pinky promised me she was 18
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
