I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
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