rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
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