A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
