Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
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Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
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How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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