it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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