he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
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