My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize