sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
