apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
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