Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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