Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Randomize
