Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
Randomize
