Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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