I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
