id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
