no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
