can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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