my sisters under your porch take her home
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
