I don't usually arrange sex via text message
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
