he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Randomize