I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Your lack of enthusiasm for my exciting news of drunken debauchery with an otherwise occupied vagina of one of my greatest conquests yet disturbs me. I'm not happy with you
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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