I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
