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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
bring money and cleavage
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize
