I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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