More tranny stories later!
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Randomize
