end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
Small penises have feelings too.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
im holly from the hills drunk
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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