We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
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