Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
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