What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
