Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
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