I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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