dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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