Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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