Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
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