the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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