Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Randomize
