Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
