How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
