I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
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