I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Help. Why am I so naked?
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