So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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