I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
