the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
