I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
